spain?
still a difficult place for me
i'm not sure it is vale la pena (worth the pain)
i'm not happy in my host home
& school has mere moments of fleeting contentment
that is the simple truth
but?
lately i have been made joyful by the simplest things
such as while i was flying back from london, i was sitting next to a curious old man from liverpool
i was absolutely fascinated by him
& all he was doing was drinking cognac (a lot of cognac) & eating a tuna fish sandwhich
but still, i was enthralled
i watched him
though i do not think he realized it
his name is michael clark, a very good name
something about his sweet simplicity spoke to my heart
& i couldn't take my eyes away from him
then we spoke
we talked of life, god, liverpool football (go red!), communism, the beatles
all wonderful
& today?
i was studying on a bench in the plaza centro
there was a man across from me, a tourist i think, who was taking a nap on his bench
he seemed comfortable
sleeping in the newly cool & crisp sevillan autumn air
he too captivated me
then he woke up, bought himself a chocolate icecream cone, & people watched
i watched him watch
wondering what he sees when he looks at the world
hoping
seeking
smiling
laughing
contemplating
something about him struck me, that same sense of simple sweetness
we never spoke, but i have learned much from him
& from michael
i feel god is speaking to me through these simple strangers who captivate me so completely
He is showing me to look for & be at peace with simplicity
that nothing has to be anything other than what it is in order for it to be beautiful
their hunger
their thirst
their tiredness
their curiosity
my hope
all is as it is, therefore it is beautiful
it is worthy of recognition, adoration
even in the ugliness & darkness there is beauty
because there is God
& so i hope to find more simple strangers
for i sense this song is not yet over
i am taking it all in, & breathing it all out
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2 comments:
you go girl
cyn. i love you. i feel as though we are together SO deeply. Every thought you have, I also have. Your words are my own simply with a spanish touch over an african one. and you are NOT alone. My cyn I love you. i am SO excited that our housing is perfect now. Maybe we will get to be roommates again. There is simply a place in my heart that is vacant and longing for your cussing at sinks and loudly obnoxious alarm clock. and our chats that are endless. and our shared tea and your coffee making abilities and watching you perform in theatre. I miss you to pieces. and SO soon we will reconnect. also I think i love you. oh wait. I KNOW I LOVE YOU. keep embracing the darkness and the light. it is there for a reason, and you seem to be picking it up. simply observations are most cherished. love always
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